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A Hannah Update

This past week has been another journey in our life with Hannah. To protect the integrity of her caregiver I am not going to be outlining all the details of what has occurred like I have in the past. (Those who know us well can always ask!)  Let me make it very clear, though, that we ALWAYS knew this placement with the caregiver would be temporary and Hannah NEVER got violent with her although her other poor behaviors did manifest themselves. The five weeks extra the caregiver gave us made all the difference!

During those five weeks, Richard and I continued to do our best to find Hannah the help she so desperately needed i.e. a therapeutic facility that would take her. Alas, we kept hitting brick walls and being told no funding was available. It was very disheartening. HOWEVER, the Lord was going ahead of us. Hannah ended up back in the psychiatric unit last Tuesday and from that moment on we finally had a team behind us that agreed wholeheartedly that Hannah’s last hope was indeed a long-term residential facility.

It has come to our hearing that many wonder how we could “give up” on our daughter or how the caregiver could have risked everything to take her in. We have NEVER given up on Hannah. In fact, yesterday we had to submit a mound of paperwork for a facility to look at. Richard suggested that we also send the daily diary I have been keeping since April of 2019. As I reread that yesterday I was aghast at all Hannah has put us through. (Time tends to make you forget!) When I printed it to PDF it was 74 pages long! I was like, there has to be a mistake! Nope! We have 74 pages of notes from the last 19 months! It will make a good nighttime read for someone if they care to read it! It is also a good confirmation to Richard and myself that the decisions/actions we have made recently have been the right ones. Hannah needs help in a BIG way and the only way for her to get that help is to have her in a facility where professionals can see her 24/7 and see her as the volcano (that’s what we call it) starts to murmur and then finally blows. We saw this beginning again over 2 weeks ago and were all on high alert for the eruption. Up until now, Hannah erupting has meant that she went somewhere else which in some ways has reinforced the pattern. That is now over. When she erupts again there will be no moving on. She will have to stay and face the consequences right where she is.

Are Richard and I out of the picture in her life? NO NO NO! We will still be involved in what medications/treatments she is given and will visit her when possible. However, that is not going to be a daily occurrence. The rest of the family need time to decompress as up until now, even though not living with us, Hannah has very much dominated our lives and thus our routine. Two weekends ago I was SO exhausted from the stress of it all I was a mess…again. We will now focus on the boys, giving them the support, peace and quiet they need along with giving ourselves time. This intense few months and weeks have been hard on Richard and I. We are SO thankful for a strong relationship between each other and the Lord along with the support of friends who have prayed so hard on our behalf. Without any of that we could not have made it through. Yes, it’s been that rough!

As Richard & I came out of a meeting yesterday, Richard made the mention that we have now been vindicated and he is so right. We have fought hard for Hannah for many, many years and now that hard work has been recognized. No, I am not blowing our own trumpet, but it’s the truth. It’s not only us who has fought for her. If her caregiver had not given her/us those 5 weeks, the team we now have would NOT have been there and things could have looked a lot uglier! We will forever be grateful to her for what she did and she has our utmost respect.

For those of you celebrating Thanksgiving tomorrow let me be one of the first to say “HAPPY THANKSGIVING”! We have SO much to be thankful for. I trust you have a blessed day and can truly count some of your blessings from the past year. Richard has already got our turkey seasoned and in the oven. Yes, the tradition continues of cooking the turkey overnight so we can enjoy turkey sandwiches for breakfast. Yes, we will eat a “real” turkey meal at lunchtime.

Take care,

Liz

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